Today's topic is about.... debate! The actual part of the debate starts at the middle point where there's a big "!!!" sign... you can jump to that point from here if you'd like! :D
Welppp, this chicken is gonna invite a dear friend of mine to my extravagant talk-show!!! Meet the guest of honor, d'Peanut van Hohenheim!!!! *gesturing towards an imaginary door*
(Important notice: This is actually an unimportant chatting I did with a friend of mine coz we're bored n got too much time 2 spare. It started out pretty normal but then things suddenly take weird turns and before we know it, we're already in the process of debating something crazy! XD ~So there are a looot of abbreviations and mispells! Don't blame me coz I just altered it slightly to fit in here n merely copy-paste-ing it! =3=)
Peanut: Hi! *strides into the room while waving vigorously*
Me: Good to see you're still alive and well my dear friend!
Peanut: Well, the world still needs a peanut like me to bring 'em happiness eh?
Me: Ooow~ Aren't you a bucket of sunshine! *cooing for some reason* Anyway, I miss you so much peanut! I wanna cry in happiness :')
Peanut: Just express ur tears of happiness dude! :D *got slapped
Me: Ok!!! I'm pourin it 2 a water vessel now! U can drink it n taste how grateful I am!!! >=)
Peanut: Yeaaa sure~ wkwkwk but why dun u use it as a seasoning 4 ur food? It's salty rite? :>
Me: But dere's no use if I consume my own feelings, I need 2 give it 2 sumone who is responsible 4 it rite? ;;)
Peanut: Alrite", if u r dat happy, will I be d happiest girl in d world by drinking dat? XD
Me: Yep!!! N dun't worry if it's yellow, it certainly won't happen 2 be my bro's urine >=)
Peanut: Dude, I can differentiate which one is tears and which one is actually pee (‾⌣‾"٥) Or, I cud force u 2 drink it instead! >=)
Me: Wat if I decolorize d yellow by usin chemical substance?? *mad scientist mode on* I dun't think u can! Coz I'll slip it inside ur water bottle!!!
Peanut: Den if I die u'd be d responsible one!>=) But d smell is still recognizeable rite??XD
Me: Yesss but if u die u won't c me gettin responsible rite? So wat's d point?? Noooope, Ill use special potion! XD
Peanut: Nooooo!! I've gotta scatter around beartraps!! XD
Me: Like dey wud work against a genius human like me! XD
Peanut: Yup" dey wud work, bcoz d peanut here is also a genius >=)
Me: Peanuts dun't huv any brains!!! :>
Peanut: Well, super peanut the world conqueror like me have n it's beyond genius level >=)
Me: Welp, det raises another question, where d hell a peanut cud put its brains?? D inside of ur shell r filled wid 2 or more of ur fat bodies!!! XD
Peanut: Umm.. I left it... In d peanut jar?? XD
Me: Den how d hell can u think??? High frequency transmission???
Peanut: Yup, my brain has somekind of wireless router!XD
Me: =3= wat a liar... Dere's no friggin way! A peanut is a peanut!! XD
Peanut: But then again there's also peanuts w/ brain like me!! *very persistent
Me: It's biologically universally atomically brainically not possible!!! >=)
Peanut: But it's peanutly possible!!XD
Me: Is not! ƪ(~˛ ~)
Peanut: Ahahaha u just won't accept d fact dat dere's a genius peanut (σ¬-̮¬)-σ
Me: Noo~ I cudn't accept d fact det dere is a stupid peanut who is claimin 2 d smart! XD
Peanut: Well, apparently d fact u cannot accept is dat dere's actually a peanut w/ intelligence of above human's average (`▽´)-σ
Me: Of coz I can't accept det! Det's just plain impossible n absurd!!! Peanuts r plain tubers! *dunno if it's right or not actually*
Peanut: Dere's always a logic we can't understand, my friend :) *was kicked out of her jar and sent flying across the room
Me: Even if dere is, dere's no way a peanut like u can understand or even teachin it 2 me! *n den stomp on d peanut >=)
Peanut: Yea, like u can! :p *rolls aside 2 dodge d human stampede
Me: I can! Bcoz I'm human!! *pulls out a hammer n starts chasin d rollin peanut
Peanut: Nonononono shit just got real serious! D: *rolls into a bag whr I stashed miniguns n starts shooting
Me: Muahahahaha I ain't serious! I am murderous!!! >=) *xpertly defend d bullets wid d hammer
Peanut: Help! Peanut abuse!! :'( *calls 911 while continuously reloading n throwing guns which had ran out of bullet n switching 2 new ones
Me: No one wud help a peanut!!! Mwahahhaha!!! >=) *chargin wid full armor while shooting bazookas*
Peanut: Who wud want 2 help a maniac like u either! D: *summons an army of peanuts
Me: Mwahahahaha no matter how many u r, u r still peanuts!!! *steppin furiously on d walkin peanuts*
Peanut: Nooo u evil twisted human!! I swear to my peanutly blood I will enslave all mankind in this world, and the leguminoceae empire will rise!! D: *trying to dodge yet another stampede
"!!!" HOT DEBATE HERE!!! TOPIC: "The Vitallity of Peanuts' Existences on this Earth" *sweatdrop* I seriously don't know how our conversations could go into this kind of stupid debate with an equally stupid motion... *slaps forehead*
Me: Hohohoho wat a mighty roar of death-wish! All u huv in det body of urs is a pack of filthy cholestrol!!! N homo sapien will trample upon ur kind!!! *continue steppin on peanuts
Peanut: We are good cholestrol!! N if d mankind hates cholestrol dat much, why r u still feeding upon us, striped us of our source of power, abducted us from our residence, and incinerate us in a condemned metal which mankind refer to as frying pan?! D: *continuing 2 deliver a heartbreaking speech frm d top of d shelf
Me: *speechless* wow det was actually a vry amazing point... But of coz dere r still humans who adore ur taste, xpecially if u've been turned 2 peanutjam! N d reason why u'r stripped off ur soil is bcoz we humans planted u! We'r free 2 do as u please wid u! >=) *throwin bombs on top of d shelf*
Peanut: But now it's time for us the peanutkind to be free from this imperialism! Let us see a new land where we will walk away in freedom, not as a human's property but a free peanut individual! Ouch! *epic thrown away frm the shelf bcos of d explosion
Me: Wat wud become of our land if brainless peanuts rule upon it? Wat wud bcome of us if irresponsible peanuts reign the rules wid deir selfish authority? Wat wud bcome d society if peanuts r given d same rights as humans, d highest entities of god's creation??? *stomp towards d fallen peanut
Peanut: Humans wud stop torturing us species from the kingdom of plantae! And you humans, are the one who selfishly enough to consume the body of the species u rule over! It's time for you to end your dynasty, humans!! D: *slipped inside your shoes
*wat a speech lol XD
Me: Kingdom plantae shud just bow down on us d superior beings like they've always had 4 d past millions of years! We RULE over u, so u belong 2 us n we're free 2 do as u please 2 u lowly beings! Our dynasty will end if d world ends!!! *crush d peanut inside her shoe
Peanut: It's time for us 2 mark our names in d book of history! Our fate will change, power will b twisted, n d plants shall rise from d depth of darkness! Blood shall b spilled, n heads will roll, but d true sons n daughters of plantae kingdom will stand. It's time 4 revolution!! (ง'̀Д'́)ง *wiggled n struggling 2 break out of ur feet* aaah worst mistake ever!! *struggle more n tickle ur feet
Me: Dere's no page left 4 any peanuts 2 pledge deir story in d book of history! Power will remain on d two-legged legacy, as our ingenious brains huv blessed d land wid fertility n utmost grace. D earth is no place 4 lowly beings 2 trample on d peace *crush back d peanut*
Peanut: But don't u 4get, two-legged creatures, dat u live on d land blessed wid diverse vegetations who provided you wid all u need, who bowed 2 ur authority 4 thousand of years! U, mankind, cannot live w/out us, yet u ruled us wid ur cruelity, incinerate our brothers n ravaged our sisters! We shall avenge 4 our fallen brothers, humans! *trying 2 creep out of d shoe
Me: God blessed us with dose variegated vegetations in order 4 us humans 2 work upon as our properties, u, peanuts, r only a trivial part of d kingdom of plantae, so u huv not d slightest rite 2 exploit on d name of plantae! Ur brothers or sisters r carefully developed in plausible hands in order 2 fulfill d humans needs. Even if u strive on 2 break free, dis vicious cycle of nature shall not break n we humans will remain strong 2 defend it *kick d remaining pieces of peanut off
Peanut: I believe dat u humans forgot dat we d plantkind do exist b4 d 1st of u was born! Do u forget brothers n sisters of d plants who lived in d depth of forests doesn't need u 2 grow? We were actually living in peace b4 u humans cut us down frm our roots n exploit our fruits 2 make domesticated plants as u hav in ur flower pots rite now! D: *still pathetically defend her opinion despite her shell being broken XD
Me: Plants n peanuts, we admit det we do need all of u 2 survive, but det doesn't mean we need ur permission 4 us 2 use whole of ur entities 4 humans' benefit! N furthermore, d capability of humans r proven 2 d core from d fact det u pitiful creatures still exist in dis competitive earth! It's not guaranteed det ur kind can survive d drastic climate change or d ferocity of famished animals from wiping out each n evryone of u! It is bcoz of us det u still can breath a life in d earth in exchange det one day u'll bcome an important part 2 sustain human's life! *gettin xcited bcoz d peanut doesn't fight anymore
Peanut: But u see here humans, we do help u by converting heat and water into energy and oxygen! u would be famished without us, yet we do not even if u humans don't exist, a prove dat we plantae kingdom r more superior even if we dun hav tools for mobility! N yes, we wud survive, if we dun survive, we wud hav vanished after d ice age, n I believe u hav heard d term of "pioneer organism" n u shud hav known dat they're plants, not humans! *rearraging d broken shells n prepared a stance
Me: D fact det u lack of immobility is d undeniable proof det peanuts r indeed inferior n r not given d rights of 'liberty' as stated in d Universal Declaration of HUMAN Rights! So u r abstained of any common human rights n shud remain as slaves u r det serve 4 humans! Hello? R u even fully aware of d dfinition of pioneer organism? It's d organisms det inhabit d site of natural disaster in immediate notice. N d first 2 arrive n continue life in dere r lichens n algae not useless peanuts such as U!!! N humans r more den capable of catalyse d initial step of life in d 'death' site faster den any of ur 'immobile' organisms can hope 2 achieve! So eventhough we admit det we r not d one det become d root of life, we, can proudly say, det we can be d starters of it!!! *not givin any time n lunge wid a katana
Peanut: And u see dat we, plants could penetrate through even d hardest rock, n we r literally able 2 survive everywhere, while u humans, wud not make it if not 4 d green vegetation like us! N dats why we need a law of Plant's Rights, establish it, or else, this cud turn into a plant rebellion!! *blocks wid a shield
Me: U dun't even huv any seats in d legislatives, dere's no one 2 fight 4 u in d terms of law! N u shud be grateful det humans still nurture ur kind 2 continue living bcoz we need u, if we find no purpose of ur existences, we cud just simply wipe u out of dis earth, clean, without trace... N d fact det u r inconveniently immobile certainly wudn't support ur so called plan of 'plant rebellion'.. Heloooow, dis is not plants vs zombies u peanut! *tackle d shield off
Peanut: I do not hav any seats in d legislatives, but neither do u! N by dat statement u r actually backstabbing urself, as if u find us dat useful, u shouldn't hav treated us so badly. Beware humans, u hav awakened d wrath of d peanut, n u do not know how capable she is of provocating a rebellion! Humans shall be bound beneath our roots, liana will crept onto buildings n mosses will decompose ur body, as u hav destroyed our kind! *evil laughs n gets a new shield
Me: My human friends, who wud be more den happy 2 agree wid me, do. It's not a backstab, I'm strengthening my own point of us being d highest-level det stand above all creatures det roam d earth, r fully of aware of our own power which reign above d organisms det we enslave to fulfill our needs. We do not need 2 treat u as if u r our king bcoz of d simple reason det we cud USE n MANIPULATE u without actually wipin ur pitiful existences off of dis living ground! We huv d Power! *stabs d shield 2 oblivion
Peanut: And, my dear human friend, we do aware of ur power, yet we also aware of wat cud we do, n we r warning u humans, recognize our rights n privileges as free individuals, neither food nor decoration, or ur dis is d end of ur dynasty! Do take an example of Louis XVI and Joseph Stalin. Such evil dictatorship will end crumbled beneath d tortured ones like us!! D:< *do several backrolls n jumps into a bomber plane
Me: No recognition shud be endowed 4 ur kind simply bcoz u can't even defend ur stance verbally in legal court. Wat u cud do is no more den breath, photosynthesize, grow, n morph into sumthin 2 be of use 2 us.. Our toleration is limited to how much u can be beneficial of us, otherwise, we'll eliminate u without trace effortlessly as ur puny existences dun't even possess d power of mind or free mobility 2 defend urselves.. In contradiction, I'll present u wid d example of 350-years-enslaved n tortured indonesians who can do nothing against d power of d dutch. If humans can't attempt it in such a long time, den dere's no possible way a plant can no matter how many u r!
Peanut: Wat am I trying 2 say here is dat I am actually defending my stance, n we knew dat politicians of d plantkind are also capable of doing dat. N so is our tolerance, humans. It is true dat some of u hav been beneficial 4 us d plantkind, but u see here dat u humans r commiting a mass massacre upon us! U disembowel our brother and sisters in d forest, mutilating dem into pieces of wood n craft dem into furniture! While we, r patiently watching u destroying d earth, in hope dat u as d highest entity will change for d betterment of ur own planet of residence. But we've seen enough! Ur actions r nothing but futile! This is genocide! I, as d ruler of d plantkind, declared war!! D:
Me: Uuugh, I think our little war is enough... My eyes r burnin seeing so many lines of words!!! I'm tired of thinking!!! *eyes red and sore @ dis point*
Peanut: Yay!!! *do a peanutly dance while crying with red eyes*
N d winner to this sample of fricking stupid debate is.... d'Peanut van Hohenheim!!!
N det's the end! Wow I put it all here in just 5 minutes, hooray for internet n e-mail n especially copy-paste!!! :) I hope it can show you a little bit how a debate could be like... even if it's created unintentionally... But what lesson you guys can get is don't give up your stance no matter what unlike me at the end! Hahaha ^.^"
HinagikuHaven
~Woe is Her~
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